ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
sarcasm needs its own font
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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