hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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