Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
