True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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