remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
