I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize