Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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