Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
