whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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