i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
