actually, I'm a sock model
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
