Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
