weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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