I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
