mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
