You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
it was like his penis was on wheels.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
