So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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