And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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