Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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