No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
