So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
