Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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