Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
