My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
