Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
