I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize