you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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