Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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