Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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