dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize