just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
