His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
