He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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