thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
