Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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