Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Two words: blizzard sex
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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