I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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