"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
