You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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