love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
