Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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