What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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