Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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