i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
