someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
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