I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
