Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize