Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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