Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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