so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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