Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
