I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
