Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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