I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
