idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
