I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
