my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just forgot I was standing up.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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