Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
