Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
worst night to have a conscience
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
