I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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